The Law Offices of Jay S. Jump, PLLC
PO Box 1028
201 Morgan Street
Davenport, WA 99122
(509) 725-1130
Copyright 2010. All Rights Reserved. Law Offices of Jay S. Jump, PLLC. The Jump Law Group. Law Offices in Kent and Davenport, Washington.
Children:
Without a doubt, it is the children who suffer the most in a divorce. Older children may be able to deal with the break up of a relationship, but younger children aren't mature enough to understand what is happening and no amount of rational explanation is going to help deal with the situation. Even adult children have been upset and torn when their parents divorce.
Our children derive most of their sense of stability from the emotional state of the parents. Parents who have a stable loving relationship with their children have stable and loving children. Introduce a stress factor into the parents and the children will end up living with that stress as well.
There is simply no way to state that divorce is a non-stress event. Marital instability and living arrangements that change from the normal relationship of Mom and Dad have dramatic effects on children. Mothers tend to view marriage and child rearing as distinct institutions while Fathers tend to view the family unit as inclusive of both Mom and the children. A divorce between Mom and Dad can also be a divorce between the parents and the children.
Divorce is sometimes a necessary part of our lives. Not every union of parents is meant to spend their lives together. Sometimes, a dissolution is the smartest thing in the world for two people who are not getting along. For their children, it can be a blesing in disguise for when the house has seperated, stability will once again return and stability with consistency is what a child needs.
A contested dissolution proceeding does nothing to create a stable environment. Sure, the Courts have crafted temporary orders to facilitate parenting plans and visitation while the divorce slowly works its way through the system, but these are only band aids on a bigger problem. Children know that their parents are in a divorce proceeding. You cannot keep it a secret from them. Even if they don't know explicitly, they know Mom and Dad no longer get along and Mom and Dad are all that exist in their lives. Mom and Dad represent their baseline stability.
Uncontested dissolutions make the process much easier. True, it still represents the break up of the marriage, but with the two parties (Mom and Dad) able to sit down and work out the terms of visitation, parenting plans, and child support, there will be less drama in the home. Change does not necessarily create instability, and keeping the children stable through the divorce process is the paramount concern for parents. Remember, Washington considers children's welfare in 'the best interest's of the child'. In considering a divorce decree, you should also take that perspective.
Is it in the best interest of the child to suffer through two years or more of bitter trial and litigation proceedings where Mom and Dad are having a battle royale every other month, or is it better to have Mom and Dad sit down with their kids, explain how their living status is about to change and show them that they (Mom and Dad) have agreed to this change. Which process do you think represents stability? It's time to fix the problem.
An uncontested dissolution proceeding allows you and your spouse to determine together what the visitation program will be, how vacations will be spent with the children, etc. An uncontested proceeding doesn't allow resentment about winning or losing a motion or court proceeding to build up and be used as a tool later on against the other party.
An uncontested dissolution allows for the marriage to end with respect, honor, and humanity. For your children's sake, an uncontested dissolution is the best way to amicably end your marriage.
